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What do you call a cow without legs?
Ground beef!
Daniel, age 10, Texas |
"My feet are sore," one bear said to
another. "I'm going to the mall to buy tennis shoes."
"What for?" asked his friend. You're still
going to have BEAR feet."
Kyle, age 10, Florida
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What kind of animal do you not want to play
cards with? A cheeta.
Andrew, Alabama |
What is a pirate's favorite kind of fish?
A SWORDfish.
Tyler, North Carolina |
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Customer: How much is the duck in the window?
Shopkeeper: Ten dollars.
Customer: Okay, send me the bill.
Shopkeeper: Sorry, but you'll have to take
the whole duck.
John, North Carolina
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A pig and a horse were having an argument
about who was the best. They were passing insults until the pig said, "I
have better taste." John, North
Carolina |
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What did the sea say when the plane flew over
it? Nothing. It just waved.
Nathan, South Carolina |
What did the duck say when he got straight
A's? I'm a smart quacker.
Kyle, South Carolina |
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Here are some "older"
jokes, just in case you haven't been here in a while: |
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Answer: Sis Boom Baaaaaah
Question: What did the sheep say when it ate some firecrackers?
Johnny, California
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Riddle: One day an angel came to a
very rich man and said that the man was about to die. The ma
said," Could I pleas take 1 suitcase?" The angel said
alwright.So the man packed the suitcase full of gold bars. When he
died, he met St. Peter at the pearly gates. Peter said," Who said
you could bring a suitcase?" The man said the angel had told told
him. Peter said. O.K., What did you bring? Peter opened the suitcase
and saw the gold bars, he said," You brought PAVEMENT?"
Sarah
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What's black and white and furry and moves
on 16 wheels???
A skunk on skates!!!:)
Pamela
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Q. Whats once in a minute, twice in
a moment, but not in an hour?
R.A. Group, Vega, Texas
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Why are teachers robbers?
Because they make kids raise their hands!
Hannah, Indianapolis
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What do you get when you have a dog,
a bird, and a car?
A Flying Car-pet.
Bethany, Alabama
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WHAT KIND OF DISK DO PIGS USE?
SLOPPY DISK!
John
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Who is Count Dracula's favorite person on
a baseball team?
The bat boy
John
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how do you tell which side of a worm is
it's head?
tickle it in the middle and see which
side laughs
Kevin, Duncan,
OK
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Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Little Old Lady.
Little Old Lady who?
I didn't know you could yodel!
Abby Atwood, Illinois
Grade 2
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What do you call boxers in
Australia? Down -under pants!
"Coollittlelady" via
e-mail
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Did you know deer don`t have uncles, no,
they only have antlers.
Wesley, GA
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Why Do Frogs Go Shopping?
To Buy Croakcrocerise
by leah (10)briana (10) and mary (9) mize, mississippi
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where
do find a tortoise with no legs?where you left it.
Andrew, Morristown, Tennessee, age 10
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Doctor, Doctor!! There is an invisible man in
your waiting room!
Doctor: Well tell him I can't see him right
now.
Sam, Shelby, NC
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Will you remember me? Say yes to everything
I say.
Will you remember me in a year?
YES
Will you remember me in 5 years?
YES
Will you remember me in a thousand years?
YES
Forget that. Knock Knock.
WHO'S THERE?
You forgot me!
Bradley, Tifton, GA
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When is the best time to go to the dentist?
At tooth-hurty.
Adam, Wilmington, NC
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Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Cain
Cain Who?
Cain you hear me?
Adam, Indianapolis, IN
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Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
Matthew, Richmond, VA
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Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
Tyler, Powhatan, VA, 9 years old
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What did Obiwan say to Luke Skywalker after he
shoved a piece of cake in his mouth?
Use the fork, Luke.
Logan, Calvary Baptist Church,
Greenwood, IN
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#1: I see spots in front of my eyes!
#2: Did you see a doctor?
#1: No, just spots.
Marie, Alpharetta, GA
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what did the apple say to the chef?
what are your appletizers today?
jessica, arkansas
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Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the
road?
A: Because he didn't have the guts.
Amy, North Carolina Grade 2
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KNOCK,KNOCK!
WHO'S THERE?
HOLLY!
HOLLY WHO?
HALLJUAH JESUS IS ALIVE!!
Will , Texas
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Why did the chicken
cross the road?
To Prove to the opossum it could be done.
Joshua
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What did the boy cat give to his girlfriend for Valentines Day?
Purrfume.
Dustin, South Carolina, Grade 4
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Did you hear about
the boy who lost his left side?
No.
Well he's all RIGHT now.
Daniel, Illinois
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Why are frogs good at baseball?
They are good at catching flies!
Stephen, North Carolina, Lad 2
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Remember me in a
year, a month, a week, and in a day. Knock Knock.
Who's there?
You forgot me?
Matt, South Carolina, Grade 5
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What do you call a cow stuck in an earthquake?
A milk shake.
Erik, South Carolina, Grade 5
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How do you find the
CRUSADER in the dark?
Use a KNIGHT light!
Joshua, North Carolina
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What did the banana say to the elephant?
Nothing. Bananas can't talk, silly.
Brian, Alabama
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How do you stop a
bull from charging?
Take away his credit card.
Casey, Louisiana
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Why did the chicken cross the park?
To get to the other SLIDE.
Perry, Ohio
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Why is Sunday the
strongest day of the week?
Because all the other days are weekdays.
Stephen, Tennessee
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Why does the Statue of Liberty stand in New York Harbor?
Because she can't sit down.
Jordan, Georgia
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What is black and
white and red all over?
A sunburned penguin.
J.D., Georgia
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What is the difference between a teacher and a train?
A train says "choo-choo"; a teacher says "Spit out that
gum!"
Merrit, Mississippi
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What has four wheels
and flies?
A garbage truck.
David, Texas
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Why do seagulls fly above the sea?
If they flew over the bay, they would be called bay-gulls.
Justin, Georgia |
Kid
1: You're not allowed to fish here.
kid
2: I'm not. I'm giving my worm a bath.
Lucas, Louisianna |
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Kid 1:
Why do deer use coupons?
Kid 2:
To save some doe and big bucks.
Andrew,
Georgia
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What do you call a
cat that eats lemons?
A sourpuss.
Bill, Georgia
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KidzFunnies
